Wait, I’m Confused

UGHhhhhhhhhh social relationships are so confusing why do they have to be this complicated. This post may be a teenagers rant about drama in her wanna-be sorority house. You always have this view of how a person behaves and how they will react to stuff because you hear stuff from a close friend of yours but then you actually get talking to them and it’s not like that at all. If it is partially true you still see it from their side so it just makes it so much harder to figure out. If you are extremely confused at this point, let me give you an example so Girl A is close to you, you guys are best friends pretty much and then Girl B starts hanging with Girl A and you’re actually fine with it maybe a smidge of jealousy but it goes away when you hear this. So Girl A confides in you and tells you that Girl B has some faults (disclaimer: everyone has faults, we are humans) and those aren’t really big flaws to you but they are to Girl A. So time passes and you end up spending some exclusive time with Girl B and you both click pretty well. Then Girl B starts telling you twice as many flaws in Girl A and you’re a little taken aback because although they may be true it seems a little judgemental/harsh to name them all. Well, now it seems like you aren’t supporting Girl A because you’re chilling with Girl B and Girl B finds so many faults in Girl A. So you are stuck between these girls and wait for it, we haven’t added boys. So when I have always pictured the months up to me getting a boyfriend I always imagined it as a personal thing that wouldn’t involve anyone else other than him and me and it would be to the point and we would understand exactly what the other person meant but, unfortunately, this scenario is extremely unrealistic from what will really happen. The first problem, I have realized through past experiences that I need to talk to someone about my experience with the guy and if I’m processing everything right and I’m not overthinking anything. It is a problem because I need to be more careful of who I tell especially if they know the guy. It just happened this Resurrection weekend and I have noticed that for some reason I have to justify that I know the guy and am close to him by telling people what he has told me in confidentiality. It gets really confusing! Especially when said guy lives next door and he is friends with a lot/ almost all of the girls in the house. The second problem is that I also make something out of nothing and then it is so easily traced back to me. The third problem is that relationships can be so ambiguous. Why did he ask me if I wanted a hand massage? Why did I give him my hand? Why did he say that? Should I have said this or that? It’s so confusing! For other people, this isn’t a problem but it is such a huge area of confusion for me. I just need people to be honest and come out and say it and if “it” isn’t a thing then don’t act like it is and make it clear that we are just friends. Otherwise, I just get super confused and I think the phrase is “getting mixed signals”.

On a different note, which is connected to the first rant, here is an employee at work that has been there for a few months now but I actually said a few things to him and he said them back. For example, our age, currently we are the same age 19, however, his birthday is in May on the 23rd to be exact. Yes, I have FB stalked him and I even found him on twitter. For the younger generation, you can tell so much about them from social media. He doesn’t use FB very much though. And he voluntarily told me the day of his birth. That had nothing to do with the FB or twitter. I wish I looked older than I am like most people my age. BTW he is very attractive. with emphasis on the very and the attractive. Also I think he might be part Hispanic but I’m not sure yet.

random factoid: So several of my makeshift dinners in college, this semester at least, have been primarily made up of guacamole. ?????



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